Siting still without acting upon the world is often the most difficult of tasks. As children we are taught that every problem can and should be fixed. On TV, all problems and conflicts are solved in a half hour. In medicine, each pain, discomfort or hiccup as a drug and health regimen to stop it. It would seem we are never past mending. We are too thin, too fat, too tall, too lazy, too motivated, the list is unending. It would seem we are always about a problem and a plan to fix.
This manifests all over the place. Our culture obsesses over the instant gratification and the quick fix. We see babies obese because whenever they cry, they are fed; customer service run amok with the belief that the customer is always right and must at all cost have their problem fixed.
Being a Man in this culture I feel a heavy pressure to always find the solution, solve the problem and help fix people. No where is this more palpable than in relationships with other people. While it is true that sometimes people will ask you to act, most of the time advise is not their greatest need. When difficult times arise, there is often nothing to fix. Not every problem has a solution to find. So often I hear the pain in friends words and when I offer advise it is like I had never said a word, the words of pain just go on. Most of the time I think we just need to share our pain and have it acknowledged.
We talk with a friend or loved one about a problem not because we need them to fix but because we want company while we sit with it. And this is wisdom, finding a dilemma and siting with it until an answer presents itself. All else seems to be struggle. A story I once heard says the Earth has all the cures to all the diseases. Like a puzzle, there is a match for every piece. I think most of our emotional difficulties or relationship problems are similar. Somewhere in our being we are equipped with everything we need to be the brilliant spirits we were made to be. A nice thought……